


Physician Inquisition

by Wordsdear



Category: One Piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 02:51:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10376217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordsdear/pseuds/Wordsdear
Summary: Law and Chopper play Operation. May the best Doctor win. Spoilers for Punk Hazard/Dressrosa but not really, Law is on the Sunny that is about it.





	

“I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON THAT APPLE AND DIE YOU BASTARD!”

BZZZZZZ

“GOD DAMN CHARLEY HORSE!”

BZZZZZZ

“HEY I AM NOT A HORSE! I AM A REINDEER”

BZZZZZZ

Nami poked her head into the sick bay, 

“Is everything all right in there?”

Opening the door a bit further, she saw that Law and Chopper were sitting on the floor hunched over something and appeared to be screaming into each other’s faces. 

Usopp and Franky stood proudly by, as Brook leaned against the wall.

“Do I want to know?” 

“Oh Nami! It is Doctor vs Doctor, two doctors enter one doctor leaves. The competition of a century, a Doc Off if you will. A Physician Inquisition!” 

Usopp punctuated this by dramatically pointing up at the ceiling.

Chopper applauded

“For I the great Captain Usopp am the referee of this competition, with my assistant Franky”

“Super assistant”

“And you need a referee because?

“I HOPE YOU DIE OF BRAIN FREEZE”

BZZZZZZZZZZ

“EITHER THE BREAD BASKET GOES OR I DO”

BZZZZZZZZZZZ

Nami raised her head a little to see over top the two doctors to see… the board game Operation

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

“I still say Tony–ya is cheating. Shouldn’t he be in Tanu- I mean his reindeer form?” 

Law wasn’t smiling, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. 

The self-designated ref folded his arms

“We already went over this Law. There is strict no devil fruit power rule in effect. Anyone who uses their ability gets a bucket of sea water dumped on them."

The smile on Franky's face as he held up the two giant red buckets was only a little terrifying.

"But it wouldn’t really be fair to make Chopper do it in walk point. So the rule is he can’t change forms once he picks one. I thought he was going to go with heavy point cause you know opposable thumbs and all. Either that or Monster Point but umm that would be bad.”

“You still owe me 100 berries for that one” Franky added

“Doesn’t horn point have fingers?” Nami accidentally found herself invested in this.

“Well it used to” Chopper replied as he stuck out his tongue, apparently it helped him focus.

She still didn’t understand

“And you are having a Doctor Off because?”

Chopper began to talk a mile a minute his eyes still fixed on the 2D corpse in front of him

“I made some cream for Zoro’s eye to see if I could get it to open up but Zoro wouldn’t try it. So, Law suggested just swapping it for another eye instead and then Zoro wanted a hawk eye. Sanji suggested a bat or sloth eye, which didn’t help.”

BZZZZZZZZ

“And I couldn’t stand by and let someone question my Little Bro’s Doctor status so I thought they should see who was the most super Doctor.”

“And is Brook leaning against the wall because?”

“45 degrees” The skeleton whimpered

“Oh he is just sulking cause they wouldn’t use him for operation”

“I can scream twice as loud as that stupid game”

“Oh this isn’t the first round either, the competition was supposed to be who could name the most bones on Brook, to test their medical knowledge. They each got 206 but then-“

Brook interrupted pointing at his hip “I call this one Madaisuki”

And his collarbone 

“and this one Mawaritosuki .”

“So technically no one won”

BZZZZZZZZZZ

“LIVE DAMN IT LIVE”

BZZZZZZ

“GIVE ME YOUR HEART”

“You think they would be better at this, being Doctors and all. Wait a second. Usopp is this the same Operation that we used last games night?”

“…”

“Usopp….”

“What? I thought Robin threw it overboard and that you just got a new one.“

“What is the big deal? When I told Robin we were having Doctor Off she just handed me this?” Franky waved the box in Nami’s direction

“You were on watch last games night, right Franky? SOMEBODY decided it would be a good idea to mess around with the game.”

“You’ve got to admit Zoro trying to cut it in half was pretty funny”

“What are you saying Nami-ya?’

Law has dropped the tweezers and was now glaring at Usopp.

Nami opened her mouth to answer and Usopp jumped in front of her waving his hands around frantically

“Nothing nothing. She was just making a little joke right Nami?”

Usopp’s eyes were pleading. He was sweating. 

“You owe me 100 million berries”

“But Nammiiiiii”

“Sorry boys, the game is fixed. Usopp jury rigged it for laughs”

Usopp snatched the sea water buckets from Franky’s hands chucked them at the now fuming Doctors and booked it out of the room.

A few moments later

“ROOM”

It took a few hours but all the Straw Hats finally put Usopp together again.


End file.
